In my past life

The folowing is the first in a series of anecdotes from my past.



 So there I am, a 26 year old stripper, new to Los Angeles, in Trader Vic’s restaurant, on a date with Hollywood icon Tony Curtis.


As a huge fan of classic films, I am enraptured by the story Tony is in the middle of telling me, when he notices his buddy George enter the room. The huge silver bowl of lychee nuts we ordered for dessert had just arrived when Tony suggests that we go and say hello to George. Now I had been out with Tony often enough to know that, in Hollywood, the dinner table protocol is the least famous goes to the table of the more famous person. As we start over, I am mentally going through all the famous Georges I can, never landing on one more famous than Tony Curtis. We get closer to a table where two quite elderly men are seated and I am placed between Tony and George and offered a drink. A while into their conversation, I notice George looking at my chest, then he leans across me and tells Tony, in a stage whisper, ‘you lucky bastard, looks like you nabbed the last real pair in Hollywood.’ After the laughter died down, I spoke for the first time and asked George if he was jealous, to which he smiled and nodded sheepishly. So I gently put my hand on the back of his head and pulled his face into my bosom and asked, better now? When I looked down, there was George Burns with the biggest shit eating grin i’d ever seen.


It’s my birthday!

  • birthday

My blog turned 4 today! A lot has happened since 2011. I’ve written on a variety of topics, moved across country, taken a long hiatus, almost died and gotten engaged. On this occasion, I want to take the opportunity to thank all of you who follow me as well as those who read me occasionally, or just once. I never thought anyone would be interested.

Today is your celebration, so grab a slice of cake, guilt free and party.

Bad atheist?

My fellow non-believers, do you sometimesfind yourself using phrases like, for gods sake, or oh my god? I do, in fact, I just hd a conversation in which I said, bless their hearts, oh my god and for Christs sake and now I find myself trying desperately to come up secular replacement phrases cause I feel dirty giving even a tiny bit of credence to the idea of a deity. Do any of you ever feel this way? Does this make me a bad atheist? Or is hs just indicative of how much god/religion have seeped into everyday language?

I will leave you with a giggle. Why do atheists say ,oh my god? Because that’s what you say when something is unbelievable.


Does size matter?

Relax gentlemen, this one is not about you.

No, this one is for the ladies with body issues. How do you feel when you herar yourself referred to as plus sized? The truth is if you are a size 10 o more, you are. Does it make you depressed,make you feel ugly or unattractive? How about unworthy? If you answered yes, or were even made to think about your response, I want you to look a the following pictures of gorgeous women who are plus sized models and feel a little better. Just remember, these women get well paid o look like they do

.IMG_20151021_163001                      IMG_20151021_162937

IMG_20151021_162816     IMG_20151021_162706

IMG_20151021_162254     IMG_20151021_162158

IMG_20151021_162134     IMG_20151021_162111

IMG_20151021_162003     IMG_20151021_162532

I hope this made you feel better, I know I do

Getting to know you

As most of you know, I moved to British Columbia about two and a half years ago and began working retail in a hotel. While I became friendly with a lot of people, I really only made 1 friend (other than my fiance). Her name is Roz and she has been wonderful about coming to see me in hospital on her days off. During these visits, we have gotten to know a lot more about each other’s pasts. I was shocked to be shown a music video in which Roz sings a cover version of Kate Bush’s song, Wuthering Heights. I have loved this song since 1980 when I heard Pat Benetar sing it on her album, Crimes of Passion (this is my favorite version of the song). Roz was surprised that I knew the song. The video was shot 10 years ago in England for next to nothing. Interesting point about the setting, it takes place at the same cemetery in which Emily Bronte, the author of the book Wuthering Heights is buried.

ithout further adieu, here is my friend, the leggy blonde, Roz doing her best Kate Bush and wonderfully.

*you may have to click the video player twice to get it to play

This woman’s right to vote


I was really looking forward to voting in this year’s federal election on Monday. I t would be first time in over 20 years, as I had been living ou of country since 1992. I did my research, informed myself on the candidates and their plans for the country and came to, what I thought was the best decision. Then,I get put into hospital, but in Canada, elections Canada ae supposed to come to you early and take your vote, just like they do for inmates in prison. Because in Canada, we ALL have the right to vote.

Apparently this is not quite so. Elections Canada came to the hospital several days ago and were on my floor (neurological care) Mine was not the only room they skipped. I called them yesterday to find out why. A half assed apology was mumbled along with a promise that they would send someone in the afternoon. They didn’t. I can’t help but wonder if it’s because I am on the neurology floor among some very confused people, so they just didn’t bother. Or, perhaps they were just lazy.

Long hospital stays are frustrating, between nurses not listening, your wishes not being honoured ( I will not take sleeping pills. I found out that one nurse had been giving them to me behind my back), having no privacy and now having one of my fundamental rights taken away for no good reason, you can see why it might be harder to smile.

I’ll finish this up by wishing Elizabeth May and the green party the best of luck in pulling a historical upset and beating the big boys. I’m only sorry that my vote was never taken in to be counted.

Better than Botox

I recently found an anti- aging treatment and weight loss spa that really works… and it’s free!

Before you all go rushing off to join up, there is a catch. First you must have a stroke, followed by a long hospital stay with a feeding tube for a month, then a  gross pureed diet for a few more weeks and an even more disgusting minced diet to cap it all off. If you can’t lose weight on hospital food, you’re just not trying.

I hear you saying, that seems like a lot of time and effort, what are the results? The paralysis from the stroke erases lines from your face making you look like a teenager with a bit of a gimpy mouth.

Here is my 50-year-old face after…


Plus I have lost approximately 25 pounds so far!

Every storm cloud may have a silver lining, but do NOT try this at home!