The tooth,the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.

Well, my body made it 50 years with little issue, but now it’s falling apart. This year it’s the teeth. Thanks to great dental insurance had 3 extracted so far, this year. Hopefully no more than 3. Here I was thinking my oral hygiene was fine, then I go to the dentist and apparently not. I had quite a few cavities 7 filled so far and 2 teeth rotting my jaw bone. The tooth that was pulled today, had absolutely no pulp. I was happy to lose it as it’s the tooth that made my smile look goofy. After all the cavities are filled, I must play the waiting game until my gums heal. Then I will be receiving 3 dental implants, for which iI will pay 50% of the sticker price, making my smile the smile I’ve always wanted .

More cavities to fill next week. It’s a good thing I have a high tolerance to dental pain.

Vanity Fair Oscar issue

From left to right, Oprah Winfrey, Reese Witherspoon, Tom Hanks, Michael B. Jordan, Zendaya, Jessica Chastain, Michael Shannon, Harrison Ford, Gal Gadot, Greydon Carter, (lying on the floor left to right ) Nicole Kidman, Claire Foy.

It’s a lovely pastiche of beautiful people, beautifully lit, beautifully styled. I wager quite a few people had jobs making sure everything is just so. I’m sure it took those people quite a lot of time to achieve the perfect shot of each person.

Everyone involved, from Makeup artists, hairdressers, wardrobe, designers location owners, drivers, lighting , caterers, assistants to the staff at Vanity Fair each of the 12 actors and Annie Leibovitz herself put time, focus, sweat and likely, blood , somebody always bleeds even if it’s just a paper cut .

All of this effort to celebrate the achievements of these 12 actors over the past year, by gifting them a golden statuette with their name engraved on it. What did they really achieve? Well, they’ve proven themselves to be very good at being at the right place at the right time and knowing the right people. Yes, they’re talented at making believe. They take a game of let’s pretend to an art form. And for this each one of the 12 pictured and many more like them, this is the dream. Millions of dollars, recognition, a platform, power to shift the ideas of the masses if they so choose. Have they not been rewarded enough? Must they also compete for a shiny object of little value, monitarily or otherwise , so we the salivating masses can see who they’re wearing?

I’d rather a cover shot celebrating the ,just guessing, 200 people who worked on this image . Because they don’t get rewarded enough.

Balancing act

This past week, I’ve been concentrating on my balance, both my physical balance and balancing my schedule. My husband’s work schedule changed this past week. He was working 2 day shifts from 10 am to 6:30pm, getting home by 7:30pm on Monday and Tuesday. Then Wednesday and Thursday mid shifts from 2pm to 10pm, getting home by 11pm. Then it’s a 3 day weekend. We’ve gotten used to this schedule . I can’t get out of the tub by myself, so I don’t bathe Monday or Tuesday. I do bathe every other day of the week. This new schedule has him working 4 day shifts, which means that I have to bathe in the evening at least one day, which is tough when hubby comes home exhausted and we still need to make and eat dinner. We literally had to think about how not to go without bathing 4 or 5 days in a row. As for my physical balance, this is what I’m doing to practice walking without a cane. I just started doing this, so watch with kind eyes, please

This week ,the good, the bad and the SAD light. 

Tonight was the culmination of a great week. I’m now doing all of my toiletries while standing.  I’m walking as much as my body lets me, every day. My bike is getting riden for 5 minutes a session, 3 sessions a week.  My days are full of exercise. My nights, however are a very different story. Once the sun goes down, so does my energy. I’m familiar with the phenomenon in dementia patients, known as sundowning. I never expected it to apply to my stroked out brain. Tonight was a perfect example of sundowning.  All day long, I had my SAD (seasonal affective disorder ) light ( which works great ) to give me as much energy as possible and did very little with it in anticipation of my husband’s staff party.  Held in a gorgeous ballroom, it’s a fantastic buffet dinner, followed by awards and dancing. 

We got to the hotel at 6pm and immediately I’m seeing the waists and boobs of people I hadn’t seen for the better part of 2 years.  The canned music was very loud ,so conversations had to be loud too. Here’s where I run into an issue.  My left vocal chord is still weak from the stroke, so I can only raise my voice so much before hurting myself.  Add to that, the fact that I still can’t turn my head either way very much, and unless the person is paying attention to me, I’m not heard and neither are you. For example, the person sitting across the big circular table from me,6 was apparently talking to the back of my head before sitting where I could see him.  I waved hello and he accused me of snubbing him. 

Word of advice, when speaking to someone in a wheelchair, especially when in a crowd. Make sure you get to their level so you both can converse comfortably. It’s very easy for me to just tune out and feel like nobody wants to talk TO me when you’re talking over me. And that gets depressing fast, not to mention the toll it takes on the neck, having to look way up at you when my neck is a problem.  Thankfully several female friends understood this and the night wasn’t entirely without conversation. Dinner was good as was the glass of champagne.   I was very much hoping to get a dance with my husband in before calling it a night.  But the pain was having none of it and my husband had to take me home after just an hour and a half . I’ve  medicated myself , and I’m still in wicked pain .

If this event had been held at noon I’d be dancing with my husband right now, instead I’m stoned off my ass, writing a blog post about what I’m missing .

Check in tomorrow for my weekly walk down the hallway and check out my progress. 

It’s a first, okay, a second. 

Yesterday, on the third day of my resolution to kick ass and take names, I wore my leg brace for 9 hours  (a personal best ). EVERY time I needed the bathroom, I walked there.  My balance was good, so I decided to try something for the first time.  I brushed my teeth, get this, WHILE STANDING UNAIDED!  NO CANE,  NO COUNTER!  The video below is footage of the second time I was able to do this.  I was way more excited the first time. 

To my wonderful husband on our anniversary. 

I love the way you love me. 

The way  you care for me, the way you’re always ready to help.  You’re so kind and generous with your spirit.  You’re so gentle and funny, no one is able to make me laugh like you do.  I’m looking forward to the rest of my life because of you.  I’m completely committed to you, as I know you are to me.  I love you for your strengths and even more for your weaknesses.  You are so much better than the man I thought I was looking for.  Better than the man I imagined for 48 years before we met.  For the past 4 years, I’ve been so happy, but especially the last two, since marrying you.  You taught me to trust, by simply being worthy of my trust, and taught me to love by being worthy of my heart. 

Thank you for the best years of my life. 

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, to the love of my life. 

A new year, a new me?

Encouraged by my progress this past year, I have made my new years resolution and, so far so good.  I’m wearing my brace daily and walking as much as I can every day! Last year could have been better, my energy was low and I got exhausted too easily. My energy level and my recovery time from exhaustion have gotten much better so it’s time for me to push harder. My goal for this year is to be walking without a cane before the year is over.  There will be weekly updates with video so you can see how I’m doing and share in my triumphs big and small,and my setbacks, hopefully only small ones.  

I hope you’ll join me in my push to get out of my wheelchair, by years end. 

So, Happy New Year from the new me. 

And from the old me,