I don’t know why it seems fitting that during this season of celebration when all other blogs are spewing love that I will spew poop. But as I find myself surrounded by a hospital full of staff who have their noses in my bowels, unfortunately you have to hear about it.

Having not had a long hospital stay before this, I had no idea how obsessed with poop the nurses are. My every morning starts with the same question,  ‘when was your last bowel movement? ‘  If the answer is anything longer than 24 hours, they want to feed me laxative like its candy. I never realized that pooping every 3 to 4 days is so ‘horribly abnormal’. Apparently I should be taking laxative daily. Meanwhile they feed me food that binds me,not to mention the pain killers that clog me up. I guess I’m just lucky no enema has come my way.

As it’s day 4 without a movement, I shall take 2 laxatives tonight so I can finally meet this guy.

**update Dec. 25, just dropped a yule log.

You would think that once you learn something that it stays learned, then you have a massive stroke and have to re-learn the most simple tasks.  As a somewhat smart person it’s rather humiliating how much work it is to learn tiny things again.

For example I had to learn to sit up.

Not as easy as he makes it look.

 

And stand. Much harder than it looks.

My next hurdle will be walking. Just the thought seems hurculean.

The biggest shock was how much effort going to the toilet actually is. After 4 months of peeing in diapers, it takes a while for your brain and bladder to get back on speaking terms. I have tried all the tricks to overcome bladder shyness, from running water, to fingers in warm water, to dripping water between my legs and after 2 weeks I finally had a successful pee on the toilet without aid of water. No wonder it takes babies so long! Don’t get me started on number 2,  believe me you don’t want to know.

As you know, I am still in hospital. I finally made it to the therapy /last stop level. On this floor everything is a lot more social,  meals in the common dining room etc. There are currently 20 men and 4 women of which I am the youngest.  Last week , I met a man called Dennis who seemed  nice to talk with. It should be noted that my fiance visits every day,so it’s no secret that I am engaged. A couple of days ago, Dennis told me that he was interested in me. This is not unusual behavior, but he had just found out that his wife was cheating and was whining about how untrustworthy women are. I had no sympathy here and told Dennis I am not under any circumstances interested and am offended by his going from boo hoo my wife cheated to are you interested in cheating on your man. He said nothing and walked away. I never said anything to lead him on, or encouage him in any way. Where does this come from? I am now having my meals in the hospital cafeteria because it’s uncomfortable to see his face. Apparently he did not think this through.

On a happier note, yesterday I was moved to a private room and so my wonderful man, who I couldn’t love more, who is really there with me through thick and thin, and I can finally get married.  Date set for January second. Vows written. Guests invited. Commissioner (aka justice of the peace ) booked. Needless to say I am very excited.

Worthy of a second look.

 

Me eating a Ferrero Rocher chocolate with my one functional hand . Please forgive the gimpy mouth.

Today is December 6th. In Canada, the day is the anniversary of what is known as the Montreal Massacre, a 26 year old mass shooting of 14 college women by a man who claimed a hatred of feminists. To Americans marking the anniversary of  the same mass shooting 26 years later unless you’re a family member  may seem crazy, but here in Canada these types of incidents actually cause change. The change in this case was more stringent gun laws as well as tactical change in the ways law enforcement responds to shooting incidents.

Canada has had 3 mass shootings between the year 2000 and 2014,while the U.S  has had 133 and, according to shooting tracker’so website,  353 in 2015 alone. I find this information to be horrific. If only because no laws have changed.

Even the language is markedly different. In Canada, we aren’t afraid to say the word massacre, which sounds much bloodier and more violent than mass shooting, which could be a lot of folks out for target practice. I am not sure why they seem so determined to make these incidents sound as pretty as possible south of the border, unless it’s to encourage the behavior. Judging from the numbers above, it seems to have worked.

Canada’s population is one tenth that of our neighbors to the south, so perhaps we are more likely to value human life as it’s not so prevalent here. It’s amazing what a little border means when it comes to the way, people think.

This past year I have been sickened by the number of “prayers”online in response to all of the slain Americans. Why pray when you have the power to stop it?

CHANGE THE LAW NOW!