Out with the old …


IMG_20151231_150322Best scar ever!

 

2015 has been a rather crappy year for me health wise, so the only reservation I am making this year is to keep breathing. 2016 is already better because it begins with my wedding and then moves on to being able to go home in late February to early March.  I can’t wait to leave the hospital! Soon  (in the next couple of weeks ) I will be allowed to be able to go around town on a day pass, first stop hair salon. The more time I can spend away the closer I get to home. I had sincerely hoped to be walking out of here. That’s not happening. I will be rolling out in a power wheelchair on loan from the Red Cross. I will have a physio therapist come to my home to begin the process of getting me walking. The goal here is getting me to transfer from my wheelchair independently, to make home easier. Walking will come, just later. My left arm, however will likely stay paralyzed. Thankful to be right handed. Don’t feel sorry for me. I am thrilled to be in a wheelchair.  What most people don’t understand is the freedom a chair gives you. I am able to go places by myself. I am not bound to the chair, I am mobile because of it.

So good riddance to  2015.  Bring on 2016.

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Cosby rape charges are shocking. But why?


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This story is world wide headline news. People everywhere are still in shock. Not because of race, as some folks on twitter would like to believe, but simply because of celebrity.  It was Cosby’s celebrity that caused these women not to report in a timely manner and it’s celebrity that kept this from getting out over the last 50 years. And it’s celebrity that keeps us shocked. This is why we didn’t beleive the multitudes of female accusers, preferring to call them fame whores or gold diggers. It’s specifically his particular brand of celebrity. For example, we wouldn’t have been as shocked if the same news was accredited to Redd Fox or Freddy Prinze or Don Rickles,, but because Cosby was a clean comic who was known for touting education and portraying the ultimate dad, we are shocked. It would be the same kind of shock if this story was about Danny Thomas or Alan Thicke . Nothing to do with race, all about celebrity brand. It’s the same reason we are shocked about 9 year old Drew Barrymore out drinking or any child star gone wrong. It’s because we believe the hype and ignore the person. And Cosby is banking on his brand. His denial of wrongdoing, his suing for defamation, these are the acts of a desperate man clinging to the belief that enough people still buy the hype.  I sincerely hope that they don’t.

Fecalpheliacs


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I don’t know why it seems fitting that during this season of celebration when all other blogs are spewing love that I will spew poop. But as I find myself surrounded by a hospital full of staff who have their noses in my bowels, unfortunately you have to hear about it.

Having not had a long hospital stay before this, I had no idea how obsessed with poop the nurses are. My every morning starts with the same question,  ‘when was your last bowel movement? ‘  If the answer is anything longer than 24 hours, they want to feed me laxative like its candy. I never realized that pooping every 3 to 4 days is so ‘horribly abnormal’. Apparently I should be taking laxative daily. Meanwhile they feed me food that binds me,not to mention the pain killers that clog me up. I guess I’m just lucky no enema has come my way.

As it’s day 4 without a movement, I shall take 2 laxatives tonight so I can finally meet this guy.

**update Dec. 25, just dropped a yule log.

K3QODCADGYW2RCAHUGK2GCAPM5NTNCAQYC4

Why is it more difficult the second time around?


You would think that once you learn something that it stays learned, then you have a massive stroke and have to re-learn the most simple tasks.  As a somewhat smart person it’s rather humiliating how much work it is to learn tiny things again.

For example I had to learn to sit up.

Not as easy as he makes it look.

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And stand. Much harder than it looks.

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My next hurdle will be walking. Just the thought seems hurculean.

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The biggest shock was how much effort going to the toilet actually is. After 4 months of peeing in diapers, it takes a while for your brain and bladder to get back on speaking terms. I have tried all the tricks to overcome bladder shyness, from running water, to fingers in warm water, to dripping water between my legs and after 2 weeks I finally had a successful pee on the toilet without aid of water. No wonder it takes babies so long! Don’t get me started on number 2,  believe me you don’t want to know.

Potty Train two

You want me to what? 

wtf is the problem with men?


As you know, I am still in hospital. I finally made it to the therapy /last stop level. On this floor everything is a lot more social,  meals in the common dining room etc. There are currently 20 men and 4 women of which I am the youngest.  Last week , I met a man called Dennis who seemed  nice to talk with. It should be noted that my fiance visits every day,so it’s no secret that I am engaged. A couple of days ago, Dennis told me that he was interested in me. This is not unusual behavior, but he had just found out that his wife was cheating and was whining about how untrustworthy women are. I had no sympathy here and told Dennis I am not under any circumstances interested and am offended by his going from boo hoo my wife cheated to are you interested in cheating on your man. He said nothing and walked away. I never said anything to lead him on, or encouage him in any way. Where does this come from? I am now having my meals in the hospital cafeteria because it’s uncomfortable to see his face. Apparently he did not think this through.

On a happier note, yesterday I was moved to a private room and so my wonderful man, who I couldn’t love more, who is really there with me through thick and thin, and I can finally get married.  Date set for January second. Vows written. Guests invited. Commissioner (aka justice of the peace ) booked. Needless to say I am very excited.

Merry Myth-mas


Worthy of a second look.

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Messy-SantaJust what I wanted!

Well, it’s that time of year again, when Christians begin to whine that atheists are trying to steal Christmas from them. Even Jerry Falwell has been quoted as saying, “There’s been a concerted effort to steal Christmas.” Of course, they are right to be worried, just as a cheating husband or wife is worried that their spouse is having an affair. The thought being, if I did it, then they must be doing it too. After all Christians stole the holiday we now know as Christmas from several different places. Let’s begin with the myth within the myth, Santa Claus.

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The legend of Santa Claus is somewhat like that party game where you whisper a sentence to one person and they whisper it to the next person and so on down the line until the last person tells it back to you and it now only has…

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