Fecalpheliacs

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I don’t know why it seems fitting that during this season of celebration when all other blogs are spewing love that I will spew poop. But as I find myself surrounded by a hospital full of staff who have their noses in my bowels, unfortunately you have to hear about it.

Having not had a long hospital stay before this, I had no idea how obsessed with poop the nurses are. My every morning starts with the same question,  ‘when was your last bowel movement? ‘  If the answer is anything longer than 24 hours, they want to feed me laxative like its candy. I never realized that pooping every 3 to 4 days is so ‘horribly abnormal’. Apparently I should be taking laxative daily. Meanwhile they feed me food that binds me,not to mention the pain killers that clog me up. I guess I’m just lucky no enema has come my way.

As it’s day 4 without a movement, I shall take 2 laxatives tonight so I can finally meet this guy.

**update Dec. 25, just dropped a yule log.

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