This is your president , America . 

Unless the electoral college swings Hillary’s way , or there’s sufficient evidence of voter fraud by the right . Unfortunately both of these scenarios are highly unlikely . As is the idea that the outcome is an elaborate practical joke by Ashton Kutcher .

While I am saddened that so many good people will have to endure both 4 to 8 years of Trump’s legislation and the ridicule of Trump’s supporters , perhaps it’s what needs to happen .  It might sound harsh , but 47% of you didn’t vote ,didn’t think it was important enough . Maybe 4 to 8 years of laying in the bed you made will get you off of your precious asses next time . You acted like children cause you didn’t like either candidate and that made you feel like you weren’t included . Awe poor baby , never learned that politicians aren’t there to be liked , but rather to make the hard choices that hopefully make lives better . Now you must be punished like children and be forced to wear your Halloween costume for at least 4 years . 

Suck it up , buttercup . 

Leonard Cohen has died at the age of 82.

POSSIBLE SPOILERS 

I have just binge watched the first season of the new netflix show The Crown . It’s a beautiful recounting of Queen Elizabeth’s first years as queen . Wonderfully portrayed by Claire Foy, a relatively unknown actress , I’m sure we’ll be seeing more of . The casting was excellent , most everyone resembled their part,in both looks and attitude . My mother who remembers that time well was impressed with how well each plot point resembled the original .  Personally , I have but one complaint with the series thus far . It involves the character of Winston Churchill , brilliantly portrayed by John Lithgow .

 It’s no longer a secret that Churchill had a minor stroke in 1949 and a second major  stroke at the age of 78  in 1953 which was  kept secret until his death in 1965 . It’s known that he had paralysis down his left side  as well as  facial droop.  The Crown made a plot point of both strokes  but there was no physical change with the exception of a minor change to his left hand . No facial drooping , no change in mobility . He used a cane both pre and post stroke.  It’s not easy to keep a stroke hidden especially when you’re a public figure who appears on admittedly low definition black and white camera  . Then the series made it seem like only a few weeks until he was fully recovered . While his recovery was indeed rare especially during the 1950s , I can’t imagine it took mere weeks . And while every stroke is unique as is each person’s ability to recover , the stroke that almost took his life as it’s now referred to ,  couldn’t have been entirely overcome  in less than a month . 

Heart surgery , a massive stroke I have yet to completely overcome and now another major surgery  in a year and 3 months. I mentioned in August that I had a pelvic ultrasound and I was worried about getting more bad news , well after an MRI to confirm what the ultrasound caught and to catch another thing, I learned that I have cysts on my ovaries , my fallopian tubes are engorged and my uterine lining is doing something akin to endometriosis but isn’t that and apparently I need a full hysterectomy . I’m not sure I can summon the strength to go through another surgery . Yes I know the saying that which doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. But seriously how much fucking stronger do I have to be ?  Really , I want to know . Medically , this has been the worst year of my life . but I’ve been dealt a shitty hand most of my life .  From  physical abuse to emotional abuse to multiple rapes , I have endured as only a woman can  I’ve seen the ugly side of life .The side no one should ever see .And have not complained or whined . I’ve stayed strong . In fact , I am the strongest person I know . So seriously , HOW MUCH FUCKING STRONGER DO I NEED TO BE?  After MANY  bad relationships I have finally found happiness with a remarkable man and it’s killing me that I have to rely on him so much so soon, we haven’t even been married a year yet  I feel like he’s not getting my best and he deserves that and so much more . 

So here I sit , in my medical lift chair at 4 in the morning, listening to the rain fall against the window, crying my eyes out , doing something I don’t do , whining about how unfair my life is and hating myself for it  .Well I guess I should take comfort in the fact that in a few months I’ll be able to wear white pants again . I usually post a picture or two and this one encapsulates perfectly how I feel about my life right now .

There’s a reason we humans are called the human race . We’re always in a rush . it starts in childhood with the rush to grow up.Weather it’s wearing makeup and  high heels or shaving and getting to drive , nothing happens fast enough .  I’ll never understand the urge to rush through this short life, it’s the only one we get after all . Should we really  be lamenting our childhood that flew by too quickly while we’re still children ? 

But it doesn’t stop when we’re grown , or even when we enter our golden years .  For example , my 74 year old mother is always saying it’s summer when it’s barely spring or it’s winter in early October , and while I always call her on it , she still living in the future . I have yet to try, “there are faster ways to get to the grave,  but that’s coming soon. It’s not just individual people either . Yesterday was November 1st and I heard the first Christmas carol of the year ! 

 It should be noted that I HATE Christmas carols more than any other music and to be subjected to them for over two months a year every time I leave the house  is tantamount to torture for me .  But , thanks to the brilliantly funny mind of Eric Idle, I now have a song for Christmas that I LOVE .  Here it is for all of you , who , like me , despise the holiday hype .