This is going to be hopefully a post that may help a few people. You constantly about heart disease and it’s symptoms, but never about heart tumours. That’s because they’re rare, but they do happen. The type of tumour I had,an atrial myxoma is the only tumour that grows on the heart. It’s slow-growing and has no symptoms until it’s almost too late. My heart surgeon said it could have been growing for up to 20 years. There was no chest pain,only shortness of breath which began about 6 weeks before entry into the hospital on July 5th my city was covered in smoke from nearby wildfires. I was having trouble breathing, but passed it off as the smoke. my breathing improved a little after the smoke cleared, but it still worried me. it became an issue about 3 weeks later when I couldn’t walk a block without having to stop to catch my breath. Finally ,I took a cab to the walk in clinic to get checked for walking pneumonia.the doctor listened to my heart and lungs and agreed with my thoughts,prescribed antibiotics and an inhaler. I went next door to the pharmacy, filled the script, then left. It took only 6 steps, 3 in a straight line, 3 pulling to my left before I fell. Apparently  piece of the tumour broke away and caused a stroke. I was lucky to be helped right away. An ambulance was there quickly and I was in hospital ad in an MRi where they found the tumour. There was no real way of knowing it was there before the MRI. So I guess the advice here is, if feeling chronically short of breath, make your doctor check your heart, it might save your life.

I was truly horrified to receive the following message in response to my different strokes post. the lack of respect for who i am was uncalled for. They wrote, it must be hard knowing when it was just you and god, you prayed.

People like this ar constantly accusing atheists of death-bed conversions. Remember the idiots after Christopher Hitchens died?

This post is for those people and it will be brutally honest.

The night before open heart surgery was the most afraid I have ever been. There were moments of tremendous lonliness.That night my fiance  (also an atheist) slept in my room all night. it was a comfort to hear the snoring. My mind was racing.What if I don’t wake up was the question that kept coming back. The answer inevitably was, then it will have been peaceful.

Never did I even think about wasting one second by silently calling out for an imaginary friend. i had an actual friend there if I needed.

So, on this blasphemy/sacrilege Sunday, I will state unequivocably that I am still an atheist, not a foxhole or a deathbed atheist, just a person who doesn’t believe crap made up to keep the poor from killing the rich. I will never follow without questioning. and I will never be so stupid as to buy into a story where a virgin gives birth.(that’s her story and she really stuck to it)

Per my post on what makes a man sexy, he’s intelligent, witty, charismatic and dresses outside the box, but there is so much more. He listens to me and hears me. He is not afraid to be vulnerable. He really loves me and here is how I know it. I got my engagement ring after having a stroke and heart surgery. He has been at the hospital every day for over 5 weeks to be with me.He never once thought of leaving. He is taking medical leave from work when I am discharged so he can care for me. And all he wants in return is my love and affection and he has had that from date 2, two years ago  he is strong and gentle, sweet and loving and possesses the most beautiful heart.

and this is the man I will marry…