The anti Bucket List

Like a lot of people I have a Bucket List of things I’d like to do before I kick the bucket. Most of the items on this list are travel oriented, like going to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, attending the Cannabis Cup, visiting New Zealand or buying an apartment in the south of France to spend winters in.

I also have another list. A list of things I have tried, but will (likely) never try again. I call this my Suck It list, because these things can suck it.



Skiing (both snow and water)

Skating (both Ice and Roller)


Living in the United States


Being a mistress

Anal sex (unless I’m on the giving end)

Lesbianism (not that there’s anything wrong with it, just not for me)


Watching Piers Morgan

Dropping acid

Doing extacy

Snorting cocaine

Horse back riding

Listening to Katy Perry ‘sing’ (same goes for Britney Spears, Justin Beiber and Beyonce)

Watching a Kardashian do anything (or not do anything)

Visit the Dominican Republic

Go on a cruise

Visit Venice (I can still smell it)

Visit Manhattan (also still smelling it)

Getting drunk on tequila

Date a much younger guy

Eat venison


And the list goes on from here. I’m betting that most people have their own Suck It list. What’s on yours?

** Note to self. Add Guys who respond to list with “Why isn’t my dick on it?” to list.

18 thoughts on “The anti Bucket List

  1. Nice list hmm heres mine

    Having teeth taken out
    Live in Wales
    Watch Mrs Browns Boys
    Believe anything without logical evidence
    Listen to popular radio
    Watch a blockbuster movie
    Read another book about conspiracy theories
    Wear flip flops

  2. From your list:


    Skiing and Skating (Never tried. Don’t want to.)

    Camping, as an activity in its own right. A tent & sleeping bag are okay as somewhere to kip, but making it the whole point of the holiday is just weird.

    Live in the United States. I’d like to visit, though.


    Be a whatever the male equivalent of mistress is.

    Anal sex, either way.

    Watch Piers Morgan unless I’m allowed to bring a rifle…

    Drop acid or any hallucinogen

    Do extacy, Tried it. Hated it.

    Horse back riding

    Listen to Katy Perry ‘sing’ (same goes for Britney Spears, Justin Beiber and Beyonce) My list would be way longer…

    Go on a cruise

    Get drunk on tequila. I still remember the hangover with horror!

    Date a much younger woman



    Work in telesales.

    Watch any stoner movie.

    Drink lager. Especially American.

    Ride a Harley.

    Drive anything with four wheels.

    I’ll stop now…

  3. Brilliant list! I agree with almost all of it!

    Here are some of mine :

    Eating chicken’s feet
    Gutting a fish
    Date white rappers
    Pluck my eyebrows completely off
    Trust Floridians
    Work retail
    Travel with douchey people

  4. Hum, I enjoy many of the things on your list.

    I guess mine would have…

    Going to War
    Eating puffed wheat
    Riding a Motorcycle (a week in hospital put that one on the list)


  5. Haha! That’s fantastic. I never thought of it that way. Well, here are some (definitely not all) of mine:

    Skinning a rabbit
    Large amounts of alcohol
    Scuba diving
    Braces… to hell with that shit.
    Flip flops
    and Religion.

  6. I am aware of the “Bucket List,” and the “Cancer List,” and now the “Suck It List.” That is classic! I imagine some of the items on our “Suck It Lists” are disturbingly recidivistic.

    In Reason,

  7. Haaa. the one time I ‘watched a Kardashian do nothing’ that’s really exactly what happened. She did nothing. (I don’t consider screaming at people over the phone to make sh*t happen to be ‘doing something’, for reference sake)

  8. Some of mine

    religiously indoctrinate anybody
    own a van
    work retail
    work telemarketing
    do cocaine or heroin
    work for Zynga ( I am a game designer and I hate everything they have made and how they treat the employees)
    go to a country concert
    live in Alabama or Arizona or any state in the US that has idiotic policies with regards to education and immigration

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