Never promise me a rose garden


Love songs, poetry and Valentine’s Day cards are all considered romantic ways of wooing a woman. These things might work on girls, but women want more. Well, actually, women want less. Less crap. We all know that when you say, you’d climb the highest mountain, or swim the deepest sea, just for one touch of our hand that it’s a line of crap. Those types of sweet nothings mean just that to a woman… nothing.

If you really want to impress us, instead of promising to cross a desert why not promise to leave the toilet seat down? Instead of saying you’d walk 500 miles for us, how about picking up your dirty clothes off the floor and putting the in the hamper… or (gasp) actually washing them yourself? You tell me that you’ll give me the moon, when all I really want is for you to listen to me.

Men spend a lot of time working on their “game” in order to get a woman. And women, I’m not cutting you any slack here either… you’ll believe anything as long as it’s what you want to hear at the time, then wonder why your relationship isn’t what you want it to be. I have news for you. Once the wooing is over, real life begins and no amount of roses will make up for the fact that the dishes need to be done.

For you married couples out there who wrote their own vows years ago, don’t you wish that instead of promising each other a lifetime of eternal love, you’d promised to always put the cap back on the toothpaste,  promised to share the carpool duties equally or promised never to go into more debt than you can realistically handle? I know that these things may not seem like romance, but in the long run they mean so much more.

Romance is for teenagers who are too naive to know better, but when we reach adulthood, romance becomes outdated and impractical. If we entered into our relationships with even half the amount of thought that we entered into choosing what car to drive, we’d all be having much longer relationships.

So don’t tell me how much you love to cuddle, tell me that you know how to fix the plumbing… now that’s romantic!


5 thoughts on “Never promise me a rose garden

  1. mere entrees are those perfect dates,
    until you find you dine in love,
    as best friends then best housemates,
    a meal that satisfies… without end?

  2. I loved this post! You have such a great, clear voice! I especially loved the part about choosing to live in reality rather than the garden of Eden…the Eden that only exists when we have not eaten the fruit of knowledge — the fruit of Reality; when we do not know both the light and dark aspects of living. I do have one small point of personal contention: that, for me, I like the occasionally romantic gesture — something totally impractical, like a love note or roses for no reason. But as you said, in the long run, it is how we manage our partnerships in day to day life that make love strong. And Real. Well said.

  3. Sure, you’ve been around the block and those things aren’t important anymore… But you’re the exception, not the rule.

    Guys work on their “game” out of necessity, we’d rather it wasn’t necessary.

    You’re wrong about roses though. Why do you think there are so many flower shops? It’s because roses work wonders.


  4. Hahaha. I listened to a punk song called ‘I Never Promised You a Rose Garden,’ today.

    Good points you made here. My guy friend who is a good mechanic and likes to keep his house clean and treats people with respect and kindness has never taken me ice skating or on a picnic (which I consider to be the height of romance). He brought me flowers once for a dance performance. We have known each other 9 years. I’m more interested in him than I have been in anyone else.

    A couple years ago I read what I believe was an excerpt from Girls Gone Mild (by Shalit) which advocated ditching the idea of the princess being ‘rescued’ from life by the prince (because none of us are royal, nor perfect) and getting to know that nice guy instead. It changed my perspective, and my real life experience has backed it up.


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