Like a lot of people I have a Bucket List of things I’d like to do before I kick the bucket. Most of the items on this list are travel oriented, like going to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, attending the Cannabis Cup, visiting New Zealand or buying an apartment in the south of France to spend winters in.
I also have another list. A list of things I have tried, but will (likely) never try again. I call this my Suck It list, because these things can suck it.
MY SUCK IT LIST
Religion
Skiing (both snow and water)
Skating (both Ice and Roller)
Camping
Living in the United States
Marriage
Being a mistress
Anal sex (unless I’m on the giving end)
Lesbianism (not that there’s anything wrong with it, just not for me)
Submission
Watching Piers Morgan
Dropping acid
Doing extacy
Snorting cocaine
Horse back riding
Listening to Katy Perry ‘sing’ (same goes for Britney Spears, Justin Beiber and Beyonce)
Watching a Kardashian do anything (or not do anything)
Visit the Dominican Republic
Go on a cruise
Visit Venice (I can still smell it)
Visit Manhattan (also still smelling it)
Getting drunk on tequila
Date a much younger guy
Eat venison
Babysitting
And the list goes on from here. I’m betting that most people have their own Suck It list. What’s on yours?
** Note to self. Add Guys who respond to list with “Why isn’t my dick on it?” to list.
Trying to please others? That’s something I always get caught up in doing and wish I wouldn’t.
Nice list hmm heres mine
Having teeth taken out
Live in Wales
Watch Mrs Browns Boys
Religion
Believe anything without logical evidence
Listen to popular radio
Watch a blockbuster movie
Read another book about conspiracy theories
Wear flip flops
Ooh I totally agree with wearing flip flops!
But … but shoes are just foot prisons!
UR not on my suck it list. Awesomeness buddy…who’s Kim Kardasian…
Kriss
From your list:
Religion
Skiing and Skating (Never tried. Don’t want to.)
Camping, as an activity in its own right. A tent & sleeping bag are okay as somewhere to kip, but making it the whole point of the holiday is just weird.
Live in the United States. I’d like to visit, though.
Marriage
Be a whatever the male equivalent of mistress is.
Anal sex, either way.
Watch Piers Morgan unless I’m allowed to bring a rifle…
Drop acid or any hallucinogen
Do extacy, Tried it. Hated it.
Horse back riding
Listen to Katy Perry ‘sing’ (same goes for Britney Spears, Justin Beiber and Beyonce) My list would be way longer…
Go on a cruise
Get drunk on tequila. I still remember the hangover with horror!
Date a much younger woman
Babysitting
—————————————–
Work in telesales.
Watch any stoner movie.
Drink lager. Especially American.
Ride a Harley.
Drive anything with four wheels.
I’ll stop now…
Work in telesales is a great one. Also agree with the lager one. It must be an acquired taste.
As a dog who is deathly afraid of thunderstorms I’d have to put thunder on the top of my Suck It list.
Love your blog. It’s so creative. You’re a very eloquent canine 😉
Brilliant list! I agree with almost all of it!
Here are some of mine :
Eating chicken’s feet
Gutting a fish
Date white rappers
Pluck my eyebrows completely off
Trust Floridians
Work retail
Travel with douchey people
Reblogged this on PatsyTomkins.com and commented:
What is on your Suck It list?
Shame you didn’t like skiing. Or anal sex
Hum, I enjoy many of the things on your list.
I guess mine would have…
Skydiving
Going to War
Eating puffed wheat
Haying
Riding a Motorcycle (a week in hospital put that one on the list)
@xWarriorPoetx
Haha! That’s fantastic. I never thought of it that way. Well, here are some (definitely not all) of mine:
Religion
Skinning a rabbit
Large amounts of alcohol
Scuba diving
Braces… to hell with that shit.
Flip flops
and Religion.
D-E-N-T-I-S-T
I am aware of the “Bucket List,” and the “Cancer List,” and now the “Suck It List.” That is classic! I imagine some of the items on our “Suck It Lists” are disturbingly recidivistic.
In Reason,
Madison
Haaa. the one time I ‘watched a Kardashian do nothing’ that’s really exactly what happened. She did nothing. (I don’t consider screaming at people over the phone to make sh*t happen to be ‘doing something’, for reference sake)
Some of mine
religiously indoctrinate anybody
sailing
own a van
work retail
work telemarketing
do cocaine or heroin
work for Zynga ( I am a game designer and I hate everything they have made and how they treat the employees)
go to a country concert
live in Alabama or Arizona or any state in the US that has idiotic policies with regards to education and immigration