I need to cut myself some slack.
Three celebrities about who’s health I’ve blogged ( Luke Perry, Emilia Clarke and Mick Jagger each had something life threatening that I’ve had except I’ve had all three things happen and had them all in the same time frame. The order for me was massive stroke, open heart bypass surgery 3 weeks later, and 6 cerebral aneurysms currently growing in my brain that were a delayed response to the stroke, 3 years later.
I’m way too hard on myself. I’ve been telling myself that I have such a long way to go with my recovery, never seeing how far I’ve come. Until those 3 posts made me realize my own strength of body and of mind. Today marks week 3 of exercising 4 days a week 45 minutes each day and I ended the day by chastising myself because I could only climb and decend 21 steps and I had planned to add 7 steps, but I just couldn’t do it.
I’ve never been an athlete. I’m not training for anything. There’s no practicing dance routines. No deadline exists, that I’m aware of. But here I am, obsessing over not being able to add 7 bloody steps. Oh I will be trying to add those steps tomorrow, but if I lack the required stamina again, instead of self admonishment I vow to try my very best to let it go.