For the past few days, I’ve been sick, headachy, fever, stuffy nose. The usual, right? Not so after a stroke. I had one symptom that terrified me to my core and made me lash out by saying things that I, not only didn’t mean, but truly can’t believe I said to my husband ,who doesn’t deserve that kind of vitriol in the slightest. What is this horrific symptom, I hear you ask My body and my brain kind of disconnected. To the point where I couldn’t get to the toilet by myself, something I was able to do for almost a month before leaving hospital care. The fear gripped me that I was now getting worse and wouldn’t get better again. I’m not remotely ready to give up what little independence I’ve been able to earn back.over the past year. I wish someone had prepared me for this, or mentioned it at all. I’d been thinking that I had finally gotten a handle on my emotions because I hadn’t cried uncontrollaby in a while then along comes frustration, anger and fear all wrapped up together and taking over. I had no defense as I heard the things coming out of my mouth, that horrified me and put my husband into, what can only be called an angry silence .
And so, my journey continues, hopefully still happily married.