Happy birthday to me 

After what happened mere weeks after my 50th last year,  I’ve been dreading this time of year. I know it sounds stupid, but I can’t help but feel that looking forward to birthdays  is dangerous to my health. My mom says that there’s no way it’ll happen again and I believe that to be true. But over the past 7 years, I’ve dealt with 2 kinds of cancer, a heart tumour removed via open heart bypass surgery and a massive stroke, what’s to stop, say a truck hitting my bloody wheelchair as I try to cross the street or a horrible virus or infection or pneumonia, or something hitting my head and knocking out access to the rest of my body. 

I know, paranoid much? 

I know I should be grateful for being able to live through all the crap I’ve been served recently, but I can’t help but think, how many passes do I get, before it’s over? 

Birthdays used to be such a fun part of life, now they just remind me of how fragile it all is. After all, this was me just under a year ago. 

I’ve worked incredibly hard to get as better as my body will allow, and I’m moving forward, just at a glacial pace. It doesn’t help that I’ve lost so many of my idols this year either. It’s been a year of death and mourning. 

I can only hope that a year from now, life is easier and I am healthy. Here’s to 51, let’s hope it’s better than 50 was. 

2 thoughts on “Happy birthday to me 

  1. Happy 51st, to a much better year despite the misfortune you’ve been through so far. May you be not only a survivor, but thrive even in adversity.

  2. As a lucky fellow whose only unhealthy misfortune in 84+ years has been a pleurisy when he was 35, I cannot even try to imagine all your bad luck. Nonetheless, I hope you will have (had) a pleasant birthday. And with my very best wishes for a recovery, Iwould like you to read the following quote. Please appreciate it, as it is not intended as black humor but as a desire to improve the quality of your life!
    “Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live”.

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