Put up or shut up. The best war ever.

Liberal MP Trudeau and Conservative Senator Brazeau fight during their charity boxing match in Ottawa

Canadian Members of Parliament, Justin Trudeau and Patrick Brazeau boxing for charity.

Someone once suggested that, instead of sending young men and women to war, we should round up all of the world leaders, put them in a field somewhere and let them duke it out among themselves. Sadly, this suggestion, while a good one, won’t solve the issue that war is profitable. The above photo is from a boxing match that took place last year between Canadian MPs Justin Trudeau and Patrick Brazeau. This match raised $230,000 for Ottawa Regional Cancer Foundation. If this kind of cash can be raised with just one local match lasting just 2 and a half rounds that didn’t even air on pay per view, imagine how much could be earned by a world leader boxing tournament.

We could separate the world into 4 quadrants, using the equator and the International date line as our lines in the sand. Each quadrant would have their leaders fight each other until there were two winning fighters left, then both leaders would enter the quarter final round, boxing the winning rulers from other quadrants until there were just 4 heads of state left to enter the semi finals, then the winning 2 would fight each other in the final match for all the marbles. The United Nations could oversee the matches and negotiate the terms that each match would be fought over… free trade, oil etc. I can just see Don King salivating at the thought of all those dollar signs.

putinshirtless_display

Putin the Punisher.

I would pay big bucks to see Vladimir Putin taking on Recep Tayyip Erdoğan of Turkey or Angela Merkel taking the piss out of David Cameron. In North America, it would be a tough call for the Vegas odds makers between Barack Obama, Steven Harper (the commonwealth countries would have to put up their heads of government, though it would be funny to see the Queen in the ring with her crown and knighting sword!) and the young Mexican president, Enrique Peña Nieto. Every country would participate, except, of course, Switzerland, who would get an automatic bye.

Of course, we’d need an undercard. What better way to whet our appetites than to have the religious leaders of the world (aka the other war mongers) beat each other senseless?

I would be glued to my sofa to see this guy,

DalaiLamamad

pounding on this guy.

popemad

The election of a new Pope would sure be a different proposition if he had to put up his dukes.

president-terry-crews

Terry Crews as the American President in the movie Idiocracy

This might really separate the cowards who hide behind 18 year old kids, doing their dirty work for them from the real leaders who are willing to get punched in the face for their convictions. Unfortunately, we would likely end up with a world akin to the one in the movie, Idiocracy where we elect the strongest and not the smartest, although its not like the smartest are in power now, so maybe it wouldn’t be so different after all.

7 responses to “Put up or shut up. The best war ever.

  1. Reblogged this on Big Blue Dot Y'all and commented:
    It took me a year to figure out I didn’t want to be the Principal of a very cool non-traditional high school in Knoxville, Tennessee called Laurel High (across from Laurel Theatre in Ft. Sanders). My best buddy (who taught Science & can drink me under the table) Sheri and I devised a scheme to motivate our Seniors to come to classes. If they came to 80% of their classes, they got to attend a boxing match between Sheri and I at the end of the year in the front of the school. We hyped it like you wouldn’t believe! She was “Boom Boom,” and I was “The Quickness.” The students, faculty and parents placed bets on which of us would prevail. I threw the first punch (no surprise there) but didn’t connect well. Sheri came back and got me square across the jaw.
    And then she stopped the fight. She said the look on my face was too much when she hit me. Almost all the students thought Sheri would kick my hiney, so when she stopped the match—only 2 students won anything…and they won big. There is a picture of me in gear, with my Peabo Bryson t-shirt on—looking a bit dazed—on my refrigerator. Sometimes you have to get in the ring.

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