Put up or shut up. The best war ever.


Liberal MP Trudeau and Conservative Senator Brazeau fight during their charity boxing match in Ottawa

Canadian Members of Parliament, Justin Trudeau and Patrick Brazeau boxing for charity.

Someone once suggested that, instead of sending young men and women to war, we should round up all of the world leaders, put them in a field somewhere and let them duke it out among themselves. Sadly, this suggestion, while a good one, won’t solve the issue that war is profitable. The above photo is from a boxing match that took place last year between Canadian MPs Justin Trudeau and Patrick Brazeau. This match raised $230,000 for Ottawa Regional Cancer Foundation. If this kind of cash can be raised with just one local match lasting just 2 and a half rounds that didn’t even air on pay per view, imagine how much could be earned by a world leader boxing tournament.

We could separate the world into 4 quadrants, using the equator and the International date line as our lines in the sand. Each quadrant would have their leaders fight each other until there were two winning fighters left, then both leaders would enter the quarter final round, boxing the winning rulers from other quadrants until there were just 4 heads of state left to enter the semi finals, then the winning 2 would fight each other in the final match for all the marbles. The United Nations could oversee the matches and negotiate the terms that each match would be fought over… free trade, oil etc. I can just see Don King salivating at the thought of all those dollar signs.

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Putin the Punisher.

I would pay big bucks to see Vladimir Putin taking on Recep Tayyip Erdoğan of Turkey or Angela Merkel taking the piss out of David Cameron. In North America, it would be a tough call for the Vegas odds makers between Barack Obama, Steven Harper (the commonwealth countries would have to put up their heads of government, though it would be funny to see the Queen in the ring with her crown and knighting sword!) and the young Mexican president, Enrique Peña Nieto. Every country would participate, except, of course, Switzerland, who would get an automatic bye.

Of course, we’d need an undercard. What better way to whet our appetites than to have the religious leaders of the world (aka the other war mongers) beat each other senseless?

I would be glued to my sofa to see this guy,

DalaiLamamad

pounding on this guy.

popemad

The election of a new Pope would sure be a different proposition if he had to put up his dukes.

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Terry Crews as the American President in the movie Idiocracy

This might really separate the cowards who hide behind 18 year old kids, doing their dirty work for them from the real leaders who are willing to get punched in the face for their convictions. Unfortunately, we would likely end up with a world akin to the one in the movie, Idiocracy where we elect the strongest and not the smartest, although its not like the smartest are in power now, so maybe it wouldn’t be so different after all.

The sweet science


Lennox Lewis

I’m a woman who enjoys a well aged single malt scotch (neat, in a chilled glass), a Cohiba cigar and watching a heavyweight title fight. Most sports bore me, but there’s something about the pugilistic arts that speaks to me on a primal level. It’s a sport that doesn’t run around after a ball on a grassy field. Boxing takes place in a smoke-filled, indoor arena where two well muscled, sweat soaked men beat each other senseless for the blood thirsty crowd.

It’s the heavyweight boxers that capture my attention most, but I have a lot of respect for boxers who can win in multiple weight classes like Bernard Hopkins, Roy Jones Jr., and Oscar De La Hoya.

Bernard Hopkins

Roy Jones Jr.

Oscar De La Hoya

I remember seeing Muhammad Ali fight when I was a little girl. To this day I can’t recall who his opponent was. Ali had so much charisma in the ring. His footwork and speed were unparalleled for man his size. he may have been arrogant in interviews, but I suppose it was tough not to be when you can back it up like he could.

Muhammad Ali

Over the last 20 or so years, boxing has been the only sport I look forward to watching.

In the 1990’s I rooted for Evander Holyfield, “The Real Deal” is still the only 4 time heavyweight champion to this day. I liked his style in and out of the ring. He was a boxer, not a brawler. Built on talent and not on hype. His behavior was that of a sportsman and a gentleman, even as he was pummeling his opponent.

Evander Holyfield

In this millennium, there have been some stand outs as well. I love watching the Klitschko brothers in the ring. Both Vitali and Wladimir are awesome sights to behold. Add to that, they made history by being the only brothers to hold all of the World Heavyweight Titles collectively. Also, they’re pretty easy on the eyes.

The Klitschko Brothers

My all time favourite boxer is a career athlete and, in my opinion, the most interesting to watch, Lennox Lewis. A true student of the sport, Lewis is one of only 3 boxers to retire with no unavenged defeats. Watching him in the ring was like watching a master at work. He was a chameleon in that he could alter his style in order to best beat his opponent, which made him almost impossible to defeat. Lennox Lewis came off as a real fan of boxing from the beginning of his career right up til the end in 2004. You could tell he really loved every minute of every fight.

So that’s a little bit more about me. Atheist, Feminist, Single, Childless, Drag Lover, Occasional Scotch Drinker and Cigar Smoker and Boxing fan.