What makes a man sexy?

I can only speak for myself, but I am willing to bet that there are quite a few women out there who would agree with my answers here. Although it’s nice to look at a great body, the abs and pecs fade with age. What really holds my interest are qualities that go a little deeper.

Intelligence is sexy.

As a fairly smart woman, I need a man who can carry on an intelligent and interesting conversation. I have a very eclectic list of interests (from music and the arts to science and politics) and the man who captures my attention is well versed in all, or at least most of them. It’s a bonus if he’s passionate about what he does. Passion is infectious. I love listening to a man talk about his job with excitement. After all the biggest erogenous zone is between the ears.

This is the famous astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson. He is my ultimate example of sexy intellect.

Charisma is sexy.

Charisma is borne from confidence and there’s nothing sexier than a confident man. A knowing smile, the ability to hold center stage, to seduce the whole room with the raise of an eyebrow, yes charisma is as rare as it is sexy. Not to be confused with arrogance, true charisma/confidence comes from just being yourself, unabashedly, without shame or fear of the opinions of others.

This is Mick Jagger, not the world’s best singer but, for me, the epitome of Charisma.

Wit is sexy.

Wit is another rare commodity. A man who can make me laugh has got a shot with me no matter what he looks like. I respect humour as a means of communication and seduction. Wit cannot exist without intellect and a keen sense of perception. Only an observant man is a witty man and there’s nothing sexier than a man who pays attention to who you are.

This is the author, Tom Robbins, famous for books like Still Life With Woodpecker and Even Cowgirls Get the Blues. I have yet to read another male author who understands women more fully, or loves them more transparently than this man. Oh, and he can make me laugh so hard that I wet my pants with one simple sentence.

Style is sexy.

A man who dresses for himself and not in the traditional male uniform is very sexy to me. It shows a lack of conformity that I relate to as a rebellious spirit. Some may call it peacocking, but when done to please yourself and not in order to attract female attention, it’s sexy as all get out.

This is David Bowie, a true icon of style, then, now and forever.

The Renaissance Man.

Or the man who I define as the embodiment of all of these qualities simultaneously, is indeed difficult to find. But, as a woman who possesses those qualities, I will settle for nothing less. The common thread that links all of these men is that none of them are afraid to be who they are… no apologies. I’m not saying you have to be a genius like Neil deGrasse Tyson, or have the charisma of Mick Jagger, the wit of Tom Robbins or the style of David Bowie, there is only one man I can think of that is the personification of all of that, just be you and don’t try to impress me.

In case you were curious who I was referring to when I said there was only one man I could think of that personifies the intellect of Neil deGrasse Tyson, the charisma of Mick Jagger, the wit of Tom Robbins and the style of David Bowie, this is my ideal Renaissance man.

8 thoughts on “What makes a man sexy?

  1. Neil deGrasse Tyson is a rock star and Eddie Izzard is pretty cool, (I’m still pissed off about “The Riches” being cancelled) but they’re no Brad Pitt. ;~)

    When it comes to women I have rather simple requirements.

    I need to be physically attracted to her, but that is a very wide variety and no real physical “type”.

    I like intelligence, but personality is more important. If I get along well and enjoy talking/listening to a woman, I don’t care if she’s a rocket scientist.

    I like strong/odd personalities, but they have to be a “good person”. The kind of person that doesn’t berate a waitress when she’s less than perfect.

    I’m a simple man, and I don’t ask for too much… at least I don’t think I do.


  2. Fantastic. I love your clarity. Our respective ideas of what’s attractive are quite similar, as you mused early on in the post.

    I love Neil’s vest. Really, I do. It looks like something David Bowie would wear.

    1. Now that you point it out, Neil’s vest DOES look a little Ziggy-esque.
      Thank you so much for the compliment. It means a lot as clarity is something I struggle with.
      I’m a big fan of your blog.

  3. I was watching a round-table talk about neuroscience and psychoanalysis and one of the girls was quite aesthetic, but there was a point where she used the term ‘dualist’ as an insult and I instantly thought – wife material!

  4. That Neil deGrasse Tyson is one foxy dude. And agreed about passion, if a person is passionate about something (music, work, writing, etc) it’s usually their best attribute.

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