I know who I am, and I’m comfortable in my own skin … personality wise. Physically, I’m less comfortable, but it’s only because of the effects of my stroke leaving my face with some mild paralysis and my left ankle with some medium paralysis and my left arm with spastic paralysis. Spastic paralysis is where my muscles are in a constant state of fire. Imagine that the muscles of your arm are always flexed. It’s exhausting, and I take a strong muscle relaxant in order to combat this situation, which allows me to be able to sleep without my muscles going into spasms .
Writing about this is proof that my confidence level is pretty high.
Queen of denial. I’m also a perfectionist who hyper focuses on imperfections. However, I learn from the mistakes of others. And like a shark, I constantly move forward with less and less care about the opinions of others, and I’ve never really cared about that to begin with. I’m a person who craves change but rarely gets it in the form in which I crave. I’m a mess of negative thoughts inwardly, but I have a positive outlook . The most stressful moment of my life was just after the stroke from which I nearly died. While spending 6 months in hospital. It took me a little more than 3 months to realize that I couldn’t dress myself, and I cried for 5 minutes, and then I got back to working on improving. It took me at least 6 years to accept the fact that my paralysis is permanent, and yet I’m still trying to improve.
What makes me most anxious is the possibility of becoming more disabled than just being paralyzed down my left side. My eyesight has never been good, but what if I go blind? How will I be able to do anything with even a miniscule amount of independence? Won’t be able to drive my wheelchair to the bathroom or anywhere else for that matter. What if the 5 aneurysms in my brain all burst at once, and I become mentally impaired along with my paralysis. These are the thoughts I put into compartments in the back of my head and just push forward past. Because I can’t accept a reality where there’s no way to improve.
It sounds as if I’m either crazy or strong or both.
I don’t believe in anything that can’t be proven,not god ,the devil, nor good or bad talismans. I will step on cracks and lines. I’ve owned and will likely own black cats. I understand that life has no order other than what we humans attempt to place upon it. It’s a very freeing way to live. When something bad happens to me, I don’t look to place blame. I try to live in the solution. Which is why, 10 years after suffering a massive stroke caused by a tumor in my heart, I’m still trying to achieve my dream of walking around the block. It’s called tenacity.
Which animal would you compare yourself to and why?
I’ve responded to this type of prompt before, so if you’ve been with me for a while, you know I relate most to cats over all. I’m physically flexible. At least half of my body is. I enjoy cuddling, and because I can’t make my own food, I enjoy being fed. If the food takes too long, I’ll complain. Unfortunately, I don’t sleep half of my life away, but when I do sleep, I sleep deeply. And if petted, I’ll purr. I startle easily and don’t like being woken up. I will interrupt you when you’re trying to focus on something. And I’m always holding a foam cat toy because it’s helpful for my paralyzed hand.
I’m definitely not going to live to 100, nor do I want to. It’s hard enough to be 4 months away from 60 and deal with permanent paralysis. It’s not going to get better with time .I’m a realist. My big dream is to walk around the block, and at this point, I don’t see it happening anytime soon, but I’m still trying to walk more than 30 steps forward and 30 steps back without my AFO brace. If my husband wasn’t worried about being clumsy, we could try walking together with my brace on and with me holding his arm. It seems like a romantic dream. I hope it happens one day. But there is no way I’m trying to live another 40 years and anyone who wishes that for me is someone who either wants to torture me or someone who’s lucky enough not to understand what it’s like to be paralyzed.
It is possible to live too long, and there are things worse than death.
Depends upon what kind of spree I’m gifted. If it’s a supermarket spree, I would go to my local market and buy all of the locally sourced fruits and vegetables that they have. As for not in season fruits and vegetables, I’m currently only purchasing from Mexico and South America.
If it’s a clothing spree, I would have to purchase from an array of Canada’s wonderful designers .
Skin care products are going to be from The Ordinary,which is a Canadian company and is fantastic.
If I were gifted a shopping spree from any company from the USA, I would refuse it. For the same reason I’m not buying anything from the USA because President Donald J Trump has levied a trade war against Canada and Mexico, and I refuse to give my money to any company that backs it. Since I don’t have a list of those companies that I can trust, it’s easier to boycott the whole country.
Something that most of the world doesn’t understand about Canada and the current tariffs that President Donald J. Trump has levied against us is, the USA buys necessities from us like oil and electricity and water and lumber. We buy luxury products from them that we can buy here or from another country, like clothes and beauty products, tools, jewelry, travel stocks, and other investments like real estate. It’s much easier to live without these things, and Canadians know that. Which is why we’re dumping our US stocks in favour of investing our own stocks, and selling our US properties and canceling our trips to the USA instead opting for other countries where our tourist dollars will be noticed more favorably like Mexico and Cuba. Those of us who can afford it will fly on Air Canada to Europe or New Zealand or even Africa.
President Trump is effectively isolating the USA and making it a poorer country for it’s people, and small businesses unless they happen to be wealthy.
The difference between being rich and being wealthy… Deshaun Watson’s 230 million dollar contract makes him rich. The person who signs his paycheck is wealthy. And wealthy people tend not to share their wealth unless what they’re purchasing pays them a dividend in one way or another.
For example, Trump is a rich man who never looked sadder or weaker than when Elon Musk, and wealthy man, brought his 4 year old son into the oval office and his kid told Trump ,”You’re not the President “
The look of a man who sold his country down the river in order to hang out with the wealthy oligarchs and is now paying his dividend.
What experiences in life helped you grow the most?
I’ve never been a patient person. Having to spend 6 months and 2 days in hospital really changed that. For example, my denturist,who is used to people wanting their teeth done yesterday, was amazed when I suggested that we wait 3 months longer than usual to do my final lining because I didn’t want to have my lower gum and jaw shrink more after the liner was done. Granted, I am retired, and I don’t leave my condo too often, but I really don’t like having to use denture adhesive when the denture becomes loose due to the gums shrinking. And so we set the appointment for the final lining of my dentures, not on the 3rd of January, but on the 6th of March, and I am really looking forward to it. As I thought, my lower denture is quite loose now and is in real need of lining.
Had I not spent those 6 months and 2 days in hospital for heart surgery and stroke recovery, I would have been rather anxious about now. Instead of being relaxed about the whole situation.
Another example is, instead of ordering things from Amazon, I now order from only Canadian companies because of the Tarrifs that Trump is putting on Canada. There’s almost always a Canadian version of whatever it is,whether it’s food, beauty products, or clothing. Recently, I was pleasantly surprised to find out that The Ordinary is a Canadian company, which is terrific because I love their skin care products, and they are very inexpensive. They just released a couple of products that I’m currently awaiting.
It turns out Tom Petty was wrong. The waiting is the easiest part.
Note to the US president, even though you’ve banned the words disabled and woman from government documents, disabled women still exist, and they probably all want to run their wheelchairs into you.
