I used to think that I was born before my time. I love old movies, and by old, I mean from the 1920s through the 1960s .I was also a fan of music from the big band era, particularly Glen Miller , Tommy Dorsey, and  Cab Calloway . And then 5 weeks after my 50th birthday, everything changed. I was forced to think about the future when I barely lived through a massive stroke brought on by a tumor in my heart. In August of this year, it will be the ten years since that fateful day . As you know, if you’ve been reading for a while ,I’m still actively trying to physically recover from the stroke. Last year, I had some real progress, and this year, I’m trying to build upon that progress.

Because I have absolutely no idea about how much progress is possible, I can only look to the future with the hope that I will have enough energy to walk around the block and the fear that it will never happen. It’s not a comfortable place to be, mentally or physically.

Realistically, there’s nothing anyone can give me that I can’t give myself.

Probably not possible-if someone had the time and ability to help me fast track my ability to walk and give me better stamina that would be a dream.

My biggest challenge is physical. It very well could have been cognitive, but thankfully, the stroke didn’t take that part of my brain. For the most part, it only took out access to my left side. While I’m never going to get my left arm and hand back,I’m entirely fine with that because it’s not my dominant side. I can still write with a pen, and it’s legible.

I’ve given myself a challenge for the coming year and a half. I’ve decided that I will be walking to and from my bathroom consistently before my 61st birthday, which occurs a year and a half from now. While I expect to be aided by a cane,I really don’t want to be wearing my AFO brace ,so it’s definitely a big challenge, but one that I feel is achievable now that I know I can walk without the AFO brace for 60 steps, 30 forward and 30 back. I’m encouraged to work on this goal. After achieving my last resolution to get healthier, it’s the logical next step (s).