A Canada Day Quiz (funny)


Two blog posts in one day?! Well, it’s a special day.

Just in case you thought I had forgotten about (aboot?) Canada Day… here’s a little something for my fellow Canucks.

Canada Day

The following quiz was written by Jack Knox (who is known for his terrific sense of humour) of the Victoria Times Colonist. It’s possibly the easiest and funniest quiz I have ever taken. Images added by yours truly.

• The name Canada Day was adopted in 1982. Prior to that the July 1 holiday was celebrated as:

A) Dominion Day

B) St. Jean Baptiste Day

C) McHappy Day

D) Christmas in July for the Bellingham outlet stores

• B.C. joined Confederation in:

A) 1867

B) 1871

C) 1492 (1671 after HST)

D) a fit of madness

• Which is highest?

A) Mount Robson

B) Mount Logan

C) The CN Tower

D) Rob Ford

Rob-Ford-Smikes-Crack

• A Montreal-area mayor pictured with his hand on a Bible is:

A) taking the oath of office

B) taking the Bible

C) risking eternal damnation

D) pleading not guilty

• Canada’s best-known scientist was:

A) Alexander Graham Bell, inventor of the telephone

B) Frederick Banting, co-discoverer of insulin

C) William Osler, the father of modern medicine

D) burned at the stake as a witch by Stephen Harper

• Match the quote with the prime minister: Jean Chrétien, Pierre Trudeau, Lester Pearson, William Lyon Mackenzie King

A) “We hate the GST and we will kill it.”

B) “There’s no place for the state in the bedrooms of the nation.”

C) “The grim fact is that we prepare for war like precocious giants, and for peace like retarded pygmies.”

D) “Hakuna matata.” Oops, my mistake. That’s William Mackenzie Lion King.

• B.C. was discovered by:

A) Capt. James Cook aboard the Endeavour

B) Capt. James Kirk aboard the Enterprise

C) Wanda Fuca, the first woman to command a Spanish galleon

D) The people who met the Europeans when they got here

kirk-pub

• Winnipeg, Vancouver, Calgary and Edmonton are:

A) CFL teams

B) warships based at CFB Esquimalt

C) cities in Eastern Canada (everything beyond Saltspring is Eastern Canada)

D) jealous of Victoria

• Canada’s motto “A Mari usque ad Mare” means:

A) From sea to sea

B) A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse

C) Roll up the rim to win

D) GST not included

rolluptherim

• Canada’s most valuable export is:

A) Alberta bitumen

B) B.C. Bud

C) Céline Dion

D) Justin Bieber

• We wish to apologize for:

A) Alberta bitumen

B) B.C. Bud

C) Céline Dion

D) Justin Bieber

justin-bieber-2013-pants-down

• Explorer Alexander Mackenzie famously completed his transcontinental journey to the West Coast by what message on a rock at Bella Coola:

A) “Alexander Mackenzie/ from Canada/ by land/ 22d July 1793”

B) “Must have taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque.”

C) “What do you mean there’s a two-sailing wait?”

D) “We’ll put the pipeline right here.”

left-turn-at-Albuquerque

• Here’s what others say about us. Discuss.

A) Jane Fonda: “When I’m in Canada, I feel this is what the world should be like.”

B) Explorer Jacques Cartier: “I am rather inclined to believe this is the land God gave to Cain.”

C) Russian gangster recorded while phoning home from prison: “You must come to Canada. This is a wonderful place. I’m in jail and eat meat three times a day.”

D) TV’s Jon Stewart: “I’ve been to Canada, and I’ve always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.”

• Here’s what we say about ourselves:

A) Comedian John Wing: “A Canadian is merely an unarmed American with health care.”

B) Author Douglas Coupland: “There are few, if any, Canadian men who have never spelled their name in a snow bank.”

C) Former Victoria Times publisher Stuart Keate: “In any world menu, Canada must be considered the vichyssoise of nations; it’s cold, half-French and difficult to stir.”

D) Retiring astronaut Chris Hadfield, on Twitter last week: “After 26 years serving in other places around the world, tonight I am back on Canadian soil, to stay. It feels so very good to be home.”

nameinsnow

Nothing but the best


thebest

It’s the carrot that is dangled to the masses. You too, can be rich and happy if your work hard enough, are talented enough, or lucky enough. But rich and happy do not always go hand in hand. Just look at those who are born into wealth. Why is it that they never seem to become people who give anything of worth to society? Oh, I’m sure there are a few exceptions to this rule, but, in general, most people who were born with platinum spoons in their mouths end up becoming complete and utter douchebags.

donald-trump-roast

King Douchebag, himself, Donald Trump

I have a theory as to why this occurs. Life is supposed to be full of obstacles to overcome and accomplishments to achieve (achievements to accomplish?). The obstacles are there in order to keep a person grounded, humble and grateful for everything he or she attains in life. If a person has no obstacles and is handed every opportunity on a silver platter, they think they are entitled to the good life and begin to act out and exhibit an unwarranted, puffed up sense of self. They start by testing their parents, if there are no consequences to their actions, they move on to testing society, by breaking the law. Sadly, because of their wealth, society goes easy on them and now they think that they are above the law and that they are better than everyone else. These young adults are crying out for boundaries, obstacles and consequences that are not forthcoming. For example, Paris Hilton and her multiple DUI and drug possession arrests has spent less than 6 months in jail… total. It’s no wonder she continues to break the law.

paris-hilton-pink-bentley1

Paris and her pink Bentley before it was crashed into by her own SUV

It’s not just those born into money that suffer from douche-it is, either. It seems that when one is handed fame and fortune at a young age, it can lead to douchery as well. Lindsay Lohan is a prime example of this. The girl spends more time in court rooms and rehab than she does on movie sets. It could be argued that her horrible, leaching parents had a lot to do with her behavior, but all they are really guilty of is the same lack of boundaries and discipline as their wealthy counterparts. Well, that and forcing her to be the breadwinner for the family by the age of 11. Let’s hope, for her sake, that she ends up a success story like Drew Barrymore and not dead, like Dana Plato.

Lindsay-Lohan-Mug-Shots-600x199

Lindsay Lohan’s 5 arrests by the age of 26

Another young star who is beginning to exhibit douche-like behavior is Justin Bieber. Recently he has been photographed with Mike Tyson, punching a paparazzi, showing his butt crack, smoking a blunt and groping a female fan. My own opinion is that all of these incidents are publicity stunts that are trying to show that Bieber is really a badass. His mentor, Usher, used to be in the same boat… cute little boy that no one thought would go beyond teen idol status and now he is his own brand. The branding of Bieber as a tough guy, however, is only serving to make him more of a joke and that can only add fuel to the douche fire.

justingrope

Bieber (the badass), awkwardly gropes a female fan

The next time you wish someone nothing but the best that life has to offer, stop and think what you are really wishing upon that person. If they never have to actually earn anything, how are they ever going to see a world beyond themselves? I prefer to wish someone enough strength of character to earn health, happiness, prosperity and just enough crap to make them appreciate those things.