It’s an embarrassing thing to admit, even after the massive stroke and the cerebral aneurysms completely taking my independence. I’ve had 2 aneurysms burst, now and unfortunately both times, loss of bladder control for a period of 2 to 3 months happened, which means that I must wear a pull up diaper. Yesterday marked the 4th day without an accident, and just after I mentioned that to my mom this afternoon, OOPS, wet diaper. I’m coming up on my 57th birthday this year and I feel like I’m too old and too young to have a diaper on constantly. Brain damage can and likely will take your dignity as well as your independence, identity and happiness. Even though I understand that it’s something I can expect with each burst aneurysm, it still makes me not want to leave my home, even though the diapers work very well and rarely leak. It even makes me uncomfortable to sleep next to my husband and is it any wonder when they make you look this sexy?