Watch “Menopause Rhapsody – Brilliant Parody song 🎵

The “good “news is that you likely won’t get every symptom described in the song. For example I am fatter,but less hairy. My armpits are bald. If you can help it, I HIGHLY recommend that you don’t have a massive stroke during menopause because you just won’t know what to blame for the memory loss 😉

What fresh hell is this?

This past month or so has been a bit of a roller-coaster, emotionally. I’m not someone who cries, certainly not in public. Over the past 5 years, I’ve cried maybe 7 times, and always for a reason. In the last month, tears have been flowing almost daily for absolutely no reason. Yet another wonderful phase of menopause. I’ve been a whisker away from ugly, snotty, all out sobbing all month long. It has to be hormonal, as tough as life has become, I’m fine with my physical situation,  happy even. From feeling like you’re on fire from the inside out, to forgetting your own name, not sleeping, pain during sex,and now sobbing at the hair salon like an idiot. Yes being an aging woman is a real treat .
I just hope I don’t end up like this?

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Becoming a weepy crone

Word of the day

Women around the globe know that you don’t have to be sad to cry. You don’t have to be angry to lash out. You don’t have to be hungry to eat your weight in sweets. For a few days each month women go through a nonsensical time called Pre Menstrual Syndrome, or PMS. It’s a time when we are not in control of our emotions, but rather, our emotions are triggered by surges in estrogen. Within the course of 24 hours we can go from this,

happy-woman-smiling-475x350

to this,

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to this

pms

This hormonal spike can also occur during menopause. There is a word for this phenomenon… HORMOTIONAL.

Why is Hormotional the word of the day? I just cried during an old episode of Ugly Betty and not even at the sad part.

Dream a little dream

The Dream by Salvador Dali

Ever since I entered menopause, I have been having the weirdest dreams. Vivid, colourful and disturbing dreams. Apparently this is a normal symptom of menopause along with insomnia, hot flashes, memory loss, loss of sex drive, night sweats, vaginal dryness, irregular periods, memory loss, mood swings, depression, irritability, fatigue, hair loss, growing of facial hair, incontinence, bloating, memory loss, brittle nails, breast pain, joint pain, headaches, itchy skin, tingling extremities and memory loss among others. Oh yes, menopause is a wondrous time of life. I am going through this next phase of life naturally, as generations of women before me have. Going with the lack of flow, as it were. I’m one of the lucky ones, my most disturbing symptoms are the weird dreams, insomnia (which has finally passed after two years), the occasional hot flash (which also seems to have passed) and memory loss. The memory loss is the most frustrating if only because I have always prided myself on my great memory and tremendous vocabulary, and now I continually find myself grasping for words that would once come trippingly off my tongue. It is for this reason that I have been calling this stage of my life MENTAL PAUSE.

Getting back to the weird dreams. Last night I had a doozy. I dreamed that I had fallen asleep and woke up to find that my face had been tattooed. Not just a small, cute tattoo either. A large rectangular tattoo the size of a tarot card starting at my left cheekbone and ending just below my jawline. The image was of skin being pulled off my face, to reveal a beating red heart (the organ, not the Valentine’s Day shape). Yes the heart was animated and beating. I was in a warehouse and I wandered around looking for someone, anyone who could explain what had happened. There was no one around, but there were mirrors everywhere I looked, so I couldn’t help but look at this thing on my face. It was then that I woke up and tried to shake the image from my mind to no avail.

If anyone knows anything about dream analysis, I would be very interested on your input. If you are also a menopausal woman who has weird dreams and want to share one of yours, please feel free to do so. For now I’m chalking it up to hormones and will try to go on about my day as usual.