Do lazy days make you feel rested or unproductive?
I have a great work ethic. It’s been difficult now that my natural energy has been markedly depleted, and I must rely on my partner to do the cooking and cleaning, etc. Fortunately,he has a good work ethic as well and is good at taking care of me, but more importantly, he’s good at taking care of US. For my part, I try to be as supportive as possible and as empathetic as I can be in order to lighten the load a bit. Since my father passed away a few years ago, our finances have improved drastically ,which took a great deal of the stress off of our shoulders and allowed him to retire early . It has provided us both a lot of room to breathe. It’s definitely true that a difficult life is less so when you have enough money to navigate it comfortably, but it’s still a difficult life. The disability situation is especially tough for me because I can’t help but feel like I’m a burden to my husband and that he would be happier if he didn’t have me and my disability to deal with. But that’s my issue. He’s never made me feel that way. It’s not easy living with a perfectionist who is physically far from perfect and who hates that fact about herself.
For me, a lazy day is a day when I’m actively resting, and the importance of those days can not be overstated . It’s not easy getting used to a far slower life than you’re used to, especially since there’s no choice in the matter . Even as every activity is necessarily slower, the physical output is much more difficult. Stamina is something that I’m desperate to get back, and it’s being very stubborn about it. Now that I finally have access to balance again, I feel like I should be able to do more, but unfortunately, it’s not the case yet. Also, unfortunately, the balance I’ve acquired is not something that I can fully depend upon yet,but I’m getting there, if achingly slowly.
That’s the thing about long-term stroke recovery, when dealing with paralysis and chronic pain, it’s as if you are stuck in a moment of time,or like half of your body is mired in quicksand, but worse because your brain has been damaged too and needs to rest as well. So, even on my days of active rest, I’m actively doing something that both my body and my brain require. It just doesn’t look like it.