It’s a pain in the …

Just when it seemed my daily pain in my left side caused by the massive stroke I had a year and a half ago was under control with the help of one triple strength Marijuana gummy bear in the morning and one at night ,a couple of weeks ago, I woke up with a horrendous new  pain on the left side of my jaw . It was swollen and it affected my speech. I got into see the dentist who put me on the advil diet for 7 days. Then he canceled my follow up appointment and made me wait for a week to reschedule at the next appointment i was given a referral to a periodontist,with whom I’ve been trying to get in with for a week now for acute TMJ  During all of this I’m still in pain, which is all too slowly getting better, or at least responding to the pot gummies.  The jaw is less swollen and has stopped throbbing.  If all of that isn’t enough, all of my usual pain is underlying and making itself known with all encompassing, full  body spasms which are both painful and shocking, in that I don’t feel them coming. It’s amazing I was able to describe the situation with more letters than just AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! 

Fortunately I think of pain as my bitch. And no bitch is gonna break me.  I’ve booked a standing appointment for a weekly massage because my neck and left shoulder aren’t helping the situation by being so tense. That’s the thing about being paralyzed, ifyou come out of it, you do so  tiny bit by tiny bit, so slowly you’re not aware of it even as you pay close attention. You expect your body to snap back like it used to but it doesn’t.  When it’s paralysis caused by a brain injury it’s even slower as the brain must heal around the intrusion. And the pain is mostly nerve pain, the bitch of the bunch. 

I’ve been thinking about the phrase she battled cancer, lately  battling a severe medical issue isn’t putting on boxing gloves, it all in the head, even when the pain is not in the head.