A Fan Letter to Certain Conservative Politicians


windupmyskirt:

WARNING. THIS POST IS SATIRE, BUT STILL MAY TRIGGER UNWANTED EMOTIONS.

Originally posted on Whatever:

WARNING: this post is going to be oh-so-very-triggery for victims of rape and sexual assault. I am not kidding.

Dear certain conservative politicians:

Hi! I’m a rapist. I’m one of those men who likes to force myself on women without their consent or desire and then batter them sexually. The details of how I do this are not particularly important at the moment — although I love when you try to make distinctions about “forcible rape” or “legitimate rape” because that gives me all sorts of wiggle room — but I will tell you one of the details about why I do it: I like to control women and, also and independently, I like to remind them how little control they have. There’s just something about making the point to a woman that her consent and her control of her own body is not relevant against the need for…

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And they said it wouldn’t last


Today marks the one year anniversary of this blog. Over the past 52 weeks, there have been 118 blog posts on a large number of topics, prompting 556 comments, 161 followers (not including the 1,415 followers on twitter) and 38,055 page views.

I have blogged about many things over the past year from my three-part series on crimes that shouldn’t be crimes,

http://windupmyskirt.com/2011/11/16/its-a-crime-part-one/

http://windupmyskirt.com/2011/11/18/its-a-crime-part-two/

http://windupmyskirt.com/2011/11/19/its-a-crime-part-three/

and my homage to my homeland during “Canada Week”,

http://windupmyskirt.com/2012/06/22/my-top-ten-favourite-things-about-living-in-canada/

http://windupmyskirt.com/2012/07/01/a-cavalcade-of-canadian-comedy/

to creating a new game called Celebrity Butterfly Effect.

http://windupmyskirt.com/2012/06/10/celebrity-butterfly-effect/

http://windupmyskirt.com/2012/07/30/another-round-of-celebrity-butterfly-effect/

http://windupmyskirt.com/2012/09/23/more-celebrity-butterfly-effect/

There have been some controversial opinions,

http://windupmyskirt.com/2012/09/16/shhhhhhh/

http://windupmyskirt.com/2012/08/28/unpopular-opinion/

http://windupmyskirt.com/2011/12/29/us-vs-them/

but I have always tried to include some more fun and cute blogs so as not to be too depressing.

http://windupmyskirt.com/2012/09/28/these-are-the-days-of-my-week/

http://windupmyskirt.com/2012/01/31/cute-cupids/

http://windupmyskirt.com/2011/12/04/happy-bunch-of-days-off-in-december/

It’s been a year of ups and downs, like any other. What makes this past year different is that I get to say thank you to everyone who has spent time here for making this year a year of which I can be proud. Yes, proud… proud of every word, every image and every view that this blog has generated.

Today I pat myself on the back, tomorrow it’s back to ranting as usual.

This is my favourite view, from high atop my soap box.

 

Clever advertising


This week gave us a couple of very clever ads. The first seemed to be unintentionally awkward and funny, the second was very expensive and made no sense. I submit that both were very successful in achieving their end goal.

Let’s start with British Gas’ sponsorship of 18-year-old Olympic swimmer Tom Daley.

Perfect placement for maximum exposure if you ask me.

The incredibly clever placement of the British Gas logo had the internet buzzing and giggling. Yes it’s funny in that, insert fart joke here, kind of way and that’s precisely what makes it so clever and ultimately successful. Had the logo appeared only on the jacket of Tom Daley’s warm up suit, no one would be talking about British Gas, but place the logo on the back of his speedo and you have advertising gold. Talk about bang for your buck.

Speaking of bang for your buck, the folks behind the new advertising campaign for Chanel Number 5, a fragrance so iconic it really doesn’t need to advertise anymore, paid Brad Pitt $7,000,000 to stand in front of a backdrop in a studio somewhere for 30 seconds and read the most nonsensical copy that had absolutely nothing to do with the brand.

Seeing as all of the late night talk shows, the entertainment “news” shows and the blogosphere (including this humble little slice of the web) is talking about the puzzling ad, I would say that its money well spent. By creating possibly the worst ad I have ever seen, Chanel has successfully created their most talked about ad campaign in decades.

After all, the goal of advertising is to get as many people talking about your brand as possible. With these kind of outside the box ideas, both British Gas and Chanel have done just that. Though personally I prefer a little more truth with my advertising like the ad slogans from the movie Crazy People.

Truly iconic dresses


Today the folks at Yahoo posted their list of the 25 most iconic dresses of all time Like most lists, I agreed with some of the choices and disagreed with others. Many of the dresses they featured don’t meet the criteria that I would use to define iconic. For me, an iconic dress is one that you could see on a mannequin and immediately recognize not only the dress, but know who wore it.

Some of the choices I take issue with are Catherine Deneuve in Belle De Jour (too plain), Barbra Streisand at the 1969 Oscars (it’s not a dress), Olivia Newton-John’s dress from Grease (wouldn’t recognize it outside of the movie), Jennifer Grey’s Dirty Dancing dress (wouldn’t recognize it outside of the movie), Sharon Stone’s Basic Instinct dress (too plain) and Michelle Williams’ Oscar dress (even after seeing it on the list, I didn’t remember it).

I thought I would post my own list of what I think are the 20 most iconic dresses. In no particular order…

Vivien Leigh in a dress made from the curtains in Gone With the Wind

This dress was so iconic that even a spoof of it became iconic.

Carol Burnett in a dress made from the curtains (complete with curtain rod)

Judy Garland as Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz

Jackie Kennedy’s pink Chanel suit and pillbox hat

Marilyn Monroe singing Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend in the movie Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.

Dorothy Lamour in her sarong dress, prompting men everywhere to say her sarong was so right.

Cher in her Bob Mackie designed Half Breed dress. The perfect marriage of designer and muse.

Jean Harlow in a white, silk halter, making the slip dress famous.

Julie Andrews from the opening scene of The Sound of Music.

Rita Hayworth in Gilda.

Twiggy in a Mary Quant A-line mini dress, defining the Mod fashions of the 1960’s.

Elizabeth Hurley in her career launching Versace safety-pin dress.

Cyndi Lauper having fun in the dress that helped make her famous.

Sara Jessica Parker in this stunning Vivienne Westwood wedding gown from the first Sex and the City movie

Julia Roberts winning the Oscar in style.

Perhaps the most iconic dress of all time, Marilyn Monroe’s white, pleated halter dress from the Seven Year Itch.

Tina Turner’s gold fringed Proud Mary mini dress.

Love it or hate it, you will never forget Lady Gaga’s meat dress.

Although she wore more glamorous dresses in the film, this blue satin number from Gypsy on Natalie Wood stood out and defined the character. “Mama, I’m a pretty girl.”

Proving that even men can wear iconic dresses, Dustin Hoffman in Tootsie.

The colour was the only thing close to being Like a Virgin in this dress on Madonna.

And last, but most certainly not least…

Mary Tyler Moore in a green cut-out dress designed by a hooker in, perhaps, one of the funniest episodes of the Mary Tyler Moore Show.

Every single one of these dresses are dresses I would instantly recognize without anyone in them. They were moment defining, which is what makes them iconic to me.

The toughest job is looking for one


 

The past week has been a tough one. The place where I worked was shut down, so I am officially unemployed. I have spent the past week making calls, posting employment wanted ads and literally pounding the pavement/knocking on doors searching for a new job.

I have many avenues in which to search. I am a certified and experienced massage therapist, an experienced elder companion with CPR certification. I have a tremendous amount of fashion knowledge, everything from luxury brands to Old Navy). I would be a great salon or spa assistant. I am open to a wide variety of jobs up to and including cleaning houses. I’ve even been told that I write well.

The bad economy isn’t helping things. The most difficult hurdle I have to overcome, however isn’t that times are tough all over, it’s that I am an Anglophone living in Quebec. Even though the area in which I live is mostly English-speaking, the Province has a law that says, any company that employs more than 50 people, must offer fully bilingual service. We had an election last month in which the Parti Québécois won the leadership of Quebec and now, the first thing on their to do list is to change the language law so that any company with more than 11 employees must be fully bilingual.

It’s not like I don’t speak some French, but I am not anywhere close to being fluent. I have always been able to get by with the amount of French I can speak, but all of a sudden, it has become a real issue that could keep me from getting hired. I love where I live, but under the circumstances, I may have to look into moving to an English-speaking province (ie. any other province in Canada) in order to give myself a better shot at a new job.

It’s only been a week, so thinking about a move is incredibly premature, but I wouldn’t be the only one upping stakes after the election. This week, the Huffington Post reported a story about Quebecers flocking to Ontario in the wake of the change in leadership. It’s stories like this that make me nervous. If business owners are leaving the province because of the new language laws, they take jobs with them, leaving less opportunity and making it less and less realistic for me to stay.